Alive

I recently received an email from an information specialist at the Center for Cell and Gene Therapy in Texas asking the following questions.

How have you been feeling lately?
Have you developed any other major illnesses or secondary cancers?
Has your disease relapsed? If not, are you currently in complete remission? If you have relapsed, what was the date of your relapse and have you had any additional treatment?
When was the last time you were assessed by a physician?
What is the name of your current physician and the hospital/clinic that you go to?
Have you had any additional children?
Are you currently employed? Full-time or Part-time?
If you are unemployed, are you retired with a source of income, retired without a source of income, on medical disability or a homemaker?
Would you say that you are at a normal level activity with no complaints?
What medications are you currently taking?

I get these emails each year marking the anniversary of my bone marrow transplant for the cancer I had nine years ago.  They send the emails on a yearly basis to check in with me (translation: to see if I am still alive).  Lives are translated into numbers which translate into statistics which translate into data that tells a story about who lives and who dies.  I’m still alive.  ”But do I deserve to be?  Is that the question?  And if so, who answers?”

Sometimes life ain’t always easy when you are still alive.  The song “Alive” by Pearl Jam has been cued as background music in my brain as I wonder why I’m blogging and the kid from Louisiana who was also getting a stem cell transplant across the hall from me nine years ago isn’t breathing anymore, he is not alive.   The song  ”Alive” tells a story of a boy who receives shocking news that the man he thought was his father wasn’t and that his real daddy was dead. Vedder stated at Pearl Jam’s 2006 VH1 Storytellers appearance that over the years the meaning has changed for him. He said, “In the original story, a teenager is being made aware of a shocking truth that leaves him plenty confused…It was a curse—’I'm still alive.’” The audience’s response to the song is what has brought about the change in meaning for Vedder. He added, “They lifted the curse. The audience changed the meaning for me.”

Sometimes living through something is not just a blessing but a shocking experience that leaves you plenty confused, a curse.  Surviving in a sin cursed world can bring these feelings about especially if you’ve lived through some nasty stuff. But God’s response changed all of that when He lifted the curse by becoming one on our behalf (2 Corinthians 5:21).  He lifted the curse when on the third day Jesus rose from the dead and His followers were willing to die because Jesus was “alive”. He lifted the curse of countless sin soaked stories that involve cancer and other tragedies as told through songs such as “Alive”. Through Jesus we taste spiritual life and look forward to the resurrection of the body and the life of the world to come.  The song plays on.

“Is somethin’ wrong?” she said

Well, of course there is
“You’re still alive,” she said
Oh and do I deserve to be?
Is that the question?
And if so, if so
Who answers?

You’re still alive if you are reading this.  Do you deserve to be?  Is that the question? If so, who answers?  God answers, and not random chance mutated through circumstance.  God answers.  You are not deserving but He loves you anyway, so get over the wretch that you are and get busy living. This is his furious love alive with grace.  Jesus is alive (another song submission: Jesus is alive’ by Shai Linne)

This is love: not what we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.-1 John 4:10

Leave a Reply