Security

Security.  The longer I am around, the more God reveals to me how desperately my heart longs for it.  It is the issue that God seems to continually be pressing on my heart in recent weeks.  It all started with a conversation I had with my wife Catherine about how eager I was for our church to be fully self-supporting.  I began to ask myself “why”?  And the honest answer is that even after seventeen years of seeing God faithfully provide support for our financial needs, I still long for “security” in our paycheck.  Like many, last fall as the stock market free-fell, my stomach churned on the rare occasions I dared check my 401k.  Now that we have seen a modicum of economic recovery, I am once again checking them regularly.  Why?  Security!   As a typical  American, it has been ingrained in my brain that security comes from money.  Because with money, in our minds, comes the power to control our own destiny, to be self-sufficient, to be sure we will never want for anything. 

But, what if this place is the exact opposite of what God wants for us?  In my personal devotional times, I have been reading through the book of Hosea.  And one of the sections of the book that God has really impressed on my heart is Hosea 13:4-6.  Here God, speaking of the nation of Israel says, “I have been the LORD your God since the land of Egypt; and you were not to know any god except Me, for there is no savior besides Me.  I cared for you in the wilderness, in the land of drought.  As they had their pasture, they became satisfied, and being satisfied, their heart became proud; therefore they forgot about Me.”  The nation of Israel was helpless in the wilderness of the Sinai desert; they had no means of providing for themselves.  Every day their very lives were dependant on His provision of quail and manna.  God provided for them and they clung to Him as their hope and their security.  But once they were in the Promised Land, they had an abundance of food springing from the fertile soil and pasturelands.  They had security; the ability to be self-sufficient and provide for their own needs.  And what happened?  Their hearts became proud and they forgot about God.  

I find that when I am focused on the false security found in the things of this world, my heart does the exact same thing as the Israelites.  I grow proud and I drift from God.  But ultimately, the house of cards I have built around earthly security comes tumbling down.  Because in the long run, the security I find in things other than God is an illusion, a mist that burns off with the morning sun.  Relationships are broken, things get old and fail, fortunes are made and lost.  Even as my proud heart drifts from dependancy on God, my anxiety level goes up as I try to play the game of providing security for myself, a game that I simply cannot win. 

Perhaps this is why God throws a national financial crisis, as we are currently experiencing, our way every once and awhile.  It reminds us proud Americans that money ultimately cannot provide our security, no matter how fat our bank account.  He is the only source of true security.  Psalm 18:2 says, “The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”   

I find myself in my human condition needing to preach daily to my anxious heart that my security is found in Christ and in Him alone.   The best laid plans can fail, but Christ does not.  When my soul finds my security in Him, I remember I am here on this planet not to indulge myself, but to glorify Him.  I rest secure knowing that the God that created the entire universe and holds every second of the future in His mighty hand is my rock and my refuge, not an erratic stockmarket.  I enjoy the amazing adventure of daily laying myself helpless before God and then experiencing His incredible provision.  Daily, I learn about His character, His faithfulness, His love for me, and His ability to meet all my needs in a way this world simply cannot.  I recall that my ultimate security does not lie in this world, but the one to come. 

As I wrestle through this struggle, it does not mean I am going to become financially irresponsible.  Nor does it mean that I am going to quit investing in my 401k.  But, He is patiently teaching me, again and again, to check my heart regularly and ask my self, “In what, or in Whom, are you finding your security?”

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